


lost in the dream

by bumblebee (advesperasct)



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a happy-ish ending, Bottom Jooheon, M/M, Minor Lim Changkyun | I.M/Shin Hoseok | Wonho, Past Character Death, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, a small superantural thing going on here but bare with me, jookyun - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 23:07:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14681349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/advesperasct/pseuds/bumblebee
Summary: Changkyun walked home through the snow and the gathering darkness, ignoring how Christmas lights were decorating the trees and shops along Junggu district's sidewalks: he hated that period of the year. Three years now, and it still didn't hurt any less; he could still picture every moment as if they were happening all over again. He didn't have to relive it to remember the way he'd sat there, spoon halfraised as he watched the news. And he recalled exactly the way his stomach had twisted, causing his heartbeats to stop for a brief second as life left Changkyun completely.





	lost in the dream

**Author's Note:**

> I'll start first with saying I'm both excited and nervous about my bold decision of posting this old-ass draft of mine on here. It was originally a bts fic that I recently edited and enriched ( I hope? ) due to my newly developed love for monsta x. I hope it meets your lovely tastes ~
> 
> Also smut happens in chapter two since this is just some sort of a pilot, i'm sorry ..

Changkyun walked home through the snow and the gathering darkness, ignoring how Christmas lights were decorating the trees and shops along Junggu district's sidewalks: he hated that period of the year. Pulling his coat tighter around himself, Changkyun hastened his pace and frowned unconsciously at the ground as he made his way along the crowded alley with no precise destination in mind. Three years now, and it still didn't hurt any less; he could still picture every moment as if they were happening all over again.

 

December 24, 2015.

Jooheon had been out of town for work, but he was flying home in time to spend Christmas with Changkyun. He was a producer, which meant that for the most part he worked from their home or from his office at the company, yet that one particular year had required from him to travel a lot around the country. Which had pushed Changkyun to complain of never having the opportunity to spend some quality time with his lover more than usual. Jooheon cared too much about his desires not to comply with them.  Also, he missed Changkyun just as much, if not more.

Therefore taking advantage of the situation, pleased and excited at the thought of the upcoming holidays that he had meticulously planned for months at that point, the younger male had been to the kink shop and bought a leather rope. After two years of loving and ardent sex with the gorgeous boy he loved more than anyone he'd ever known, he was going to come out to the older male about his kink, deeply hoping not to creep him out and ruin everything right from the start. Changkyun, after all, had a long dated reputation of being a soft pup, maybe granted to him by those adorable features he so desperately tried to mask up with a constant poker face.  But it was his chance, he reckoned. His only chance to come clean to his significant other once and for all. He needn’t worry, Changkyun tried to reassure himself, as Jooheon was always so laid back and understanding when it came to him.  A strange feeling still lingered at the edges of his mind, though, making him more nervous and insecure about his decision.

Since nervous and hungry was a bad combination that made him even more distressed, he decided to stop by Yangmiok, a nice and welcoming restaurant which served the most delicious  _bulgogi_ Changkyun has ever eaten, before picking Jooheon up at the airport. Yangmiok was a place where long-time local residents and newcomers mingled freely, and the brunette loved it for that. Also, it had a television behind the counter.

 

Now, Changkyun paused outside the door to the restaurant without even noticing. His feet must’ve automatically took him there. Should he go in? He hesitated. The memory of that night was carved into his mind. He didn't have to relive it again to remember the way he'd sat there, chopsticks halfraised as he watched the news about the plane crash. And he recalled exactly the way his stomach had twisted, causing his heartbeats to stop for a brief second as life left Changkyun completely.

Through the window he saw Hoseok serving tables, just as he'd been that night, and each consecutive Christmas Eve that Changkyun returned to repeat this useless little ritual of remembrance. With  a sigh the boy went in and took a seat at one of the free tables. His usual, oddly enough.

 

" Changkyun-ah, " said Hoseok who approached him as soon as the younger made himself comfy in his seat. " It's good to see you. " The elder smiled, sweet and sincere as he always did.

 

" Good to see you too, Hoseok-hyung. "

 

And it was. Changkyun liked Hoseok quite a lot.  They have known one another ever since the younger male had moved to Seoul from the States, many years ago, finding the restaurant out of pure casuality and frequenting it ever since. And not because a certain waiter was quite fascinating, of course not. But Changkyun genuinely liked Hoseok. He liked his silver hair and his fine physique. He liked the tight black tops he wore and the way they displayed his broad shoulders, firm chest and tight waist, and his bright personality that matched his warm smile just perfectly. But most of all Changkyun liked that Hoseok had never wished him a merry Christmas ever since that night. Hoseok had seen Changkyun's face when the news of the plane crash came on. Engine failure. How could a plane engine just stop functioning? But it had, and the plane caught fire.

 It was Hoseok who'd made sure that Changkyun got home alright, and it was Hoseok who'd brought over food and coffee every day that first week, while Changkyun had sat on his couch staring at Jooheon's empty chair. Helpless, chest empty yet heavy.

 

" The usual? " asked Hoseok in a soft voice.

 

" Yeah. "

 

There were planty of people in the restaurant at the moment, but Changkyun didn’t seem to notice; maybe he just didn’t care. He glanced up at the television, it was turned to a local station, as always.  At the moment an episode of _Goblin_ was aired. The voices sounded hollow.

Hoseok brought him his dish then sat in front of him, arms comfortably crossed over wide chest. 

 

" Three years now, " the older said.

 

This was new. Changkyun had never really said anything about that argument before. " Yeah. "

 

Hoseok’s expression changed into an unreadable one though Changkyun could notice a glimpse of sympathy in his almond eyes. He hated it.

 

" Three years now you've been coming in, at the same time, on the same day. You sit in the same spot and you order the same thing. And the rest of the year I barely see you anymore. Why do you do this? "

 

Changkyun leaned back and looked up at him. He always forgot how attractive and breathtaking Hoseok could be, and how deep down that made him want to turn the tables on Hoseok and abandon himself between those strong, protective arms and let the older dominate him ― just like he'd wanted Jooheon to think of him but had never worked up the nerve to confess it.

 

" Why, you say? "

 

The silver haired man met his gaze. " Yeah. I mean, it's not like you need to remind yourself. Do you? "

 

Changkyun opened his mouth. That was exactly what he'd been about to say ― that he did it to remember. But Hoseok was right. He hadn't forgotten, not for one second. So why?

 

" You know what I think? " Hoseok said suddenly.

 

Changkyun glanced down at his meal and tried to ignore the feeling of instantly agreeing with whatever Hoseok had to reveal. He had always managed to read right through him, letting the younger feel naked and vulnerable.

 

" What do you think? " he encouraged nonetheless.

 

" I think you're replaying the day hoping somehow it will turn out different. "

 

Changkyun almost choked on his own saliva. " That's ridiculous. "

 

Hoseok smiled, but his hazelnut eyes remained serious. " It's not going to change, Changkyunie. "

 

The latter shoved his plate full of delicious meat away and stood. " I know that! I know it won’t change, damn it. " Frustration and anger pouring out of his every heated word. Hoseok only sighed, expecting a similar reaction. If nothing else it was improvement. He could tell guilt and regret have been devouring Changkyun from inside out ever since the crash, but the younger had never talked about it.  

 

 " As it turns out, I'm not very hungry right now. I'll take this to go, please. "

 

Hoseok nodded. " I'll get you a fresh portion. "

 

He wrote out Changkyun's order, then packed a new portion into a to-go container. Before handing it to the younger male, he wrote something on the lid.

 

" What's this? " The younger knew what it was. It was a phone number.

 

" I like you, Changkyun-ah. I think you’re a very nice guy and it’s a pity we have never taken the chance to know each other properly. " His smile was contagious as he continued while capturing Changkyun’s gaze and holding it. Changkyun swore he could feel blood rushing to his cheeks at the innuendo.

 

" Besides, I like your taste in Christmas presents. "

 

Changkyun stared at him, probably looking like a lost and overly embarassed puppy as Hoseok chuckled innocently.  The older’s pretty eyes were clear and full of light. " Christmas presents? But I’ve never ... "

_Oh._

Realization hit him and Hoseok was quick to explain.

 

" Of course not. My guess it was for your lover. But I've never been able to forget how you looked before you got the news, when you first walked in here with that bag ― happy and excited, determination in your every move like you had everthing you could ever wish for. If you ever decide being that guy again, call me. I might just teach you how to properly use those ten feet of leather rope. "

 

Changkyun could literally feel his heart shrink at those words and his face went crimson. He stared down at the number scrawled on the lid of the container. " I .. I don't .. I can't .." _What, talk? Breathe?_

" No worries. Toss it if you want. Just don't waste the food. "

 

Changkyun forced himself to meet Hoseok's gaze.

 

" Like I said, you're a nice guy. And insanely pretty, just my type to be completely honest. But you're still stuck in the past. "

 

Changkyun wanted to object, but Hoseok was right. He searched for something to say.

 

" Merry Christmas, " he blurted and blushed even harder.

 

Hoseok gave a soft, startled laugh. " Merry Christmas to you too, Changkyunie. "

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm well aware it's set during Christmas time but as I said, the fic was an old draft and I was too lazy and little inspired to change it. 
> 
> Other than this make sure to let me know what you think of this poor prologue. Constructive criticism is always accepted, it motivates me and helps me improve my skills ~


End file.
